Sitting with Insecurities

ritual for 1 person | ~ 2 hours | created by Thibault Schiemann


Everyone has insecurities. We feel insecure about our bodies, about our skills, about the way we relate to other people, about big and small decisions, and many other things. Sometimes we can overcome them, grow out of what makes us feel small. Most of the time, though, they form an integral part of our daily lives and shape the way we interact with the world and other people.

Normally, we keep our insecurities in check or adjust our behaviour in such a way as to avoid them (i.e. someone who is insecure about standing in front of other people will not volunteer as a toast master). But in certain moments – when our desire for something becomes so big – this does not work anymore. Our insecurities appear to stand in our way, and it feels like we either have to ditch them or give in to them and bury our desire.

The reason I conceived this ritual is that wanted to move away from acting
out of my insecurities to acting with my insecurities instead. Acting out of my insecurities can mean various things: It can mean to ask other people to account for my insecurities, to not set my own boundaries, to hurt other people “before they can hurt me” – it means that I behave in such way that I wouldn’t want to behave if it was not for feeling insecure.

Acting with my insecurities, on the other hand, means to acknowledge that my insecurities exist, trying to understand in what way they impact my decisions, and acting with that awareness in mind. It means not to necessarily free myself from them, but to integrate them in a conscious and reflective way, allowing me to listen to them while I still move towards what I desire.

Sitting with Insecurities is a ritual designed to help you do the first two oft hese things: acknowledging your personal insecurities and understanding how they impact you. The ritual aims to give you a container to explore them better and to build a relationship with them. All of this is grounded in the assumption that insecurities are not your enemy but your personal mechanisms for keeping you safe. They are there to protect you, and by meeting them with compassion you may understand better how much of that protection you still need.

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